Have you put a dream on hold due to fear of failure?
Will you even allow yourself to acknowledge that fear is a part of your life.
Some fear is primal, fight or flight, an instant adrenalin induced change happening within the body in reaction to events around you, like running for help when someone is involved in an accident or in reaction to provocation on the street, and yet it is the everyday strings that get pulled that really shape our path.
Imagine the rush you feel when asked to present at the national conference for your company this year, an honour in recognition for your contribution in improving company culture within your area.
The initial excitement of being asked is slowly whittled away as the mind goes racing ahead, working out all the things that could go wrong, the worry master steps into over drive and has a field day creating doubt, manifesting rising levels of anxiety and finally fear creeps in as we notice an uncomfortable feeling within us.
Your first reaction was, I am ok, I will just tell them what I did, but then the thought of presenting this to your peers from all over the country, plus management, confidence start to wane. Very subtly doubt starts to creep in, growing stronger and stronger until your thoughts have created a feeling of fear. Fear can be subtle, activated by thoughts or beliefs we have and can very quietly hum around in the subconscious (below our awareness) impacting our daily lives and decisions.
At times we mask our fear, with laughter, anger or another emotion, a learned response to hide how we are feeling from ourselves and others around us. A coping mechanism that has got us to where we are today. One way we can start to have a more functional relationship with fear is to admit to ourselves that hiding from it or distracting ourselves from it doesn’t work if it is stopping us live the life we want.
How much more exciting and fulfilling would your life be today if you had learned to work with fear consciously from a young age, taught that to lean into fear is ok, is accepted, and even to be celebrated as part of your growth and expansion.
Its like the tax man, he is always going to want to be paid so you may as well develop a working relationship with him. You could call fear your subconscious tax on life, holding back joy, creativity, opportunities and success.
In this case we are wanting to limit the tax man’s pleasure.
It was only in my 40s I started to acknowledge my fears and work consciously with them, now I am better at recognising signals the mind and body send me when I am dipping into that zone, often thoughts have dropped into an inner dialogue of doubt and then worst- case scenarios and if left to percolate the gut starts to churn.
I now use the following process as a way of acknowledging and embracing all of my emotions and releasing the energy behind them when needed. It can be a quick way of getting your day back on track when challenged.
In Recognising and naming fear we start to turn the tide on it, bringing it out into the light and giving it nowhere to hide.
What is it you are feeling?
Where in your body is the unease?
What thought or event has triggered fear? What is your reaction?
In Accepting fear, you are taking away the judgements.
Acceptance is saying to yourself, I am feeling fear and that is ok,
In Acceptance, you say, I see you, I know you are there and that is ok for now.
In accepting fear you take ownership of it and learn to embrace it as part of your growth cycles.
With acceptance you open the door to greater success.
The 3rd part is Releasing the energy that has built up inside of us, that uneasy feeling that came in a few hours ago can now be expressed. Depending on how triggered you are you may need to give yourself time in a quiet spot to allow the fear to come up, whatever happens let your mind and body release what it has been suppressing. Vocalise, talk to yourself, cry, feel into the fear, sit with it and fully allow the sensations to move through you.
If new to this process you may want it to be like a drive through, in time you will become more comfortable with it as you see and feel the benefits of the clearing.
Spending 5-10 minutes allowing the gooey uncomfortable stuff to come up and be expressed seems a small sacrifice to pay when you then spend the rest of the day feeling better, eating healthier, less stress, a clearer head, better focus and generally a lot more enjoyable day.
Successful people have learned to acknowledge fear is part of change, its presence may be a reason to pause and question something, but it is not a reason to stop.
One of the biggest differences between successful people and others is their ability to push through and know they will be ok, they have built up a log of successfully navigating through the feeling of fear and into success.
Mentally and emotionally they are connected to their vision and utilise that energy to move through any resistance. The focus is on the rewards and the end goal, this power outweighs the discomfort that can come up.
If you want to be successful, develop successful habits that bring about change in the areas you want, in facing up to your fears you grow your confidence, self-worth and release limiting beliefs (lies) empowering you to achieve your once forgotten dreams.
All the best and I wish you well in creating a new relationship with yourself and celebrating new successes.
To learn more about this work please feel free to contact Chris.